This is a short story about why I am here and how it all began. In the following paragraphs I will explain how I became a self-taught artist and found my artistic voice.
About a year ago I bought myself an online drawing course, because I wanted to get back into the practice of creating.
As a child I remember how fun it was to create freely and just draw without being scared of criticism and expectations. However, as I got older the inner critic got louder. There was also not enough support due to my lacking talent. Consequently I stopped investing time into one thing that gave me real pleasure.
Once in a while I picked up a pen or pencil again, but the results of my creative attempts never satisfied my inner critic. And because I felt that I was not good at making art, it made no sense to spend time doing something so useless.
I BOUGHT MYSELF A DRAWING COURSE
However, there was always a very persistent, although quiet voice that inspired me to start drawing again. The voice encouraged me to truly allow myself to spend time and money on something that to others might seem very impractical, useless, unimportant or without a meaning. It pushed me to unapologetically explore my inner worlds through different shapes and lines and colours. My innermost friend gave me permission to just put onto paper the emotions and feeling that were growing inside, but had no way to express.
The moment that pushed me onto a new artistic path was a finished drawing I did following a Draw with me episode with Sketchbook Skool on You Tube. In case you want to give it a try yourself, you can find the video here. The theme was dogs. Since I have never drawn dogs in my life, I was pleasantly surprised with the end result. The feelings of accomplishment and being proud of myself definitely gave me the courage to step into something scary and unknown.
MY FIRST ART CHAPTER WAS SCARY
The beginnings of my new artistic journey were certainly very challenging. There was a plethora of doubts, criticism, and obsessive thoughts about being an intruder. I constantly felt I was not good or worthy enough to share my artworks. On my way to becoming a self-taught artist I have discovered how painfully often I abandoned myself and my desires. And why? My guess is because I did not believe I deserved to be happy. So commonly I felt guilty about enjoying myself, especially when other people around me were in a bad mood.
Although I was creative in everyday life on some level, I did not truly allow myself to create something just for the sake of creating. Even though I desperately craved it. In my mind I was determined that being practical, rational, and frugal is more important than making art or sitting still in the garden or just being and observing the world around me. When I did that, I felt guilty.
And these thoughts did not completely disappear after the past year, but now I am able to let them be while I create what feels right and true to me.
LEARNING TO DRAW HUMAN FACES
I have documented my art journey so far on my Instagram profile @petrazartplace. There I also share more than 100 portraits I challenged myself to draw in order to teach myself how to draw a human face using reference images.
This was my first deliberate attempt to draw human faces that resemble some likeness of the reference image.
And below is an example of the skills I gained drawing more than 100 portraits from reference images. Personally I am quite pleased with myself for being able to draw like this. A year ago I would never have thought I could draw a face like that. And although my skills are most certainly not on any kind of a professional level, I am quite confident drawing a face from my imagination now.
DISCOVERING MY VOICE AS A SELF-TAUGHT ARTIST
While I like these semi-realistic drawings, my current art practice is focused on being looser, using more sketch-like lines and drawing mainly from memory. My goal is to learn to capture the feelings and emotions rather than details. I would also like to improve my skills of spontaneous and non-judgemental self-expression through my artistic practice.
Throughout my art journey I have tried to step away from focusing on realism and details and get looser and more relaxed in a series of expressive or abstract drawings, such as the ones below.
THE FIRST YEAR OF BEING A SELF-TAUGHT ARTIST
To commemorate this very special moment in my life I decided to build a website. I want to have a personal space to share my artworks and my creative expression with like-minded creatives. With those who already use art as a tool for self-discovery, mental health, self-expression or self-realisation, as well as with those who are just beginning to discover the myriad of beneficial side effects of a healthy creative practice.
In the second year of my artistic journey I would like to share more of what I have learned as a self-taught artist. My goal this year is also to create some prints of my favourite pieces to sell. But that is another big challenge with many obstacles. The biggest one being my limiting beliefs that I have to face and overcome.
But for now this website is a major achievement for me. If you are joining me, welcome and thank you for being here.
Petra
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